Chapter 2: My first time in Japan

When I was 18 years old, I met my then-boyfriend while attending university outside of London. We met through a mutual friend, and he was 10 years older than me. He told me he was going to become an English teacher in Japan.

After he arrived in Japan, we continued to stay in touch. Six months later, while we were still in contact, he invited me to visit him. I was thrilled at the prospect of going to Japan, a country I had no preconceived notions about. All I cared about at the time was spending time with him. However, things didn't go as I had imagined.

I envisioned that we would spend a lot of time together, getting to know Japan, eating sushi, shopping, watching movies, and spending time together: typical couple activities. We had been dating for less than a year, so I thought everything would be fine. I booked a seven-day trip, but I was in for a shock.

When I arrived in Japan, my boyfriend was there to meet me at the airport. I didn't know any Japanese at the time. I was only 18 and had come solely to see him. I was overwhelmed by the noise—louder than anything I had experienced in London, where sirens, traffic, and crowds are the norm. In Japan, the noise was on another level, with music blaring in train stations and constant announcements of "Irasshaimase," which I didn't understand at the time. The high-pitched voices of Japanese women, always smiling, felt strange to me as a British person, used to a quieter, more reserved culture. Neon lights and signs were everywhere, and it was all too much. But being young, I was ready for it. I embraced the experience with the enthusiasm of a child, eager to learn.

At that time, I was fond of Hello Kitty, and being in Japan was ideal for that. As someone who was petite and south-east Asian, I was pleased to find that the clothes and makeup in Japan suited me perfectly. I felt like I had found a place where I belonged, where everything fit me just right. Physically, not mentally.

Unfortunately, he couldn't spend much time with me. He was working as an English teacher and had long hours. He had to be at work by nine and could only meet me around seven in the evening. I wasn't happy about it, but I made the most of my time there. He was staying in Chiba, but I made sure to go to Tokyo every day. It felt strange and lonely like I was lost in translation. I walked around with maps in hand, constantly checking the train routes to avoid getting lost. He gave me a list of places to visit, and I tried to stick to it, though I also wanted to explore on my own.

I visited the main tourist spots like Harajuku, Shibuya, and Shinjuku. I remember feeling incredibly safe and not being stared at, which was a relief compared to London. It was great to have the freedom to explore on my own, especially as I was still learning about myself and who I was outside of my home environment.

When I went into shops, people would speak to me in Japanese. They didn't treat me like a foreigner, and I would respond by asking if they spoke English. Since I didn't know any Japanese, they would try to communicate in broken English, a mix of Japanese and English.

I recall an amazing shopping experience at a large mall called Shibuya 109, which had multiple floors. I spent half a day there, fascinated by Japanese fashion, which was so avant-garde and ahead of its time. I bought several pieces that I knew would last a lifetime, and I still wear some of them today, in 2024. Japanese clothing is of high quality and truly stands the test of time.

I also remember going to a salon for a haircut, not just because I needed one, but because I wanted to interact with Japanese people. It was then that I realized how alone I felt. My boyfriend wasn't with me, and no one was talking to me, so I used the haircut as an excuse to connect with someone. The hairdresser was very kind and tried her hardest to talk to me, even though we had a language barrier. After the haircut, I tried to tip her, as is customary in the UK, but she politely refused. I later learned that tipping is not a part of Japanese culture.

Reflecting on my time in Japan, I realize that I often felt alone and wished my boyfriend could have explored Tokyo with me. But I did enjoy the experience of discovering temples, gardens, and shops by myself. Although I was young and felt small, I am now grateful for the opportunity to explore on my own. Looking back, I can see the value of travelling alone and how it helped me grow as a person. At the time, I didn't fully appreciate how important it was to learn and explore independently, without anyone else's influence or insecurities overshadowing me.

Please note: Names and places have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals and organisations